Transitions Life Coaching Blog

10 Ways to Bring the Sacred into Everyday Life

2008-06-09T18:19:00.002+01:00

When I first begin work with my coaching clients, they are invited to assess the various areas of their life. One of these areas is ‘spiritual’ and so many people ask me what I mean by this (and subsequently find it is a missing, yet very much needed, part of their lives). I’m also often asked for coaching around the subject of work-life balance. So when I read the following article – which combines sound advice for improving work-life balance with ways of bringing some spiritual practices into our lives (and explaining what these are along the way) I knew I had to share this article!

My thanks to the author, Rabbi Kula, for his kind permission in allowing me to reprint this article.

10 Ways to Bring the Sacred into Everyday Life

Do you feel like you barely have time to breathe? Ever seem like you never really manage to unwind? Many of us are "plugged in" 24/7, leaving little energy to enjoy our lives. We tend to leave the sacred for the Sabbath and focus most of our attention on work. It's time to stop compartmentalizing and begin infusing our everyday lives with the sacred. Here, Rabbi Irwin Kula, president of The National Jewish Center for Learning, offers 10 easy ways to help you enjoy your life more fully.

1. Leave Work Earlier Than Usual

There is always one more phone call or one more email. Consciously stopping early once a week (at least one half-hour) affirms that we do not just live to work, but work as part of living.

2. Let Go of the Work Week

Cease doing and worrying about the work of the week. Practice gently letting go of thoughts and concerns about work that inevitably pop into mind and take over. Eventually these thoughts soften and recede. Sometimes I take a more scenic route home to help clear my mind.

3. Turn It Off

Set aside your BlackBerry, turn off your computer, set your cell phone to silent, at least as it relates to work. See how your consciousness shifts and how it doesn't. If you feel incredibly uneasy and even destabilized, you are being invited to discern new ways of taking control of your life.

4. Eat a Special Meal with Family or Friends

Taking time to reconnect to those we love expands our sense of who we are. Savoring our food (a new recipe once a week adds adventure) deepens our connection to the material world; candlelight invites us to bring forth more light from within and see beyond the surface.

5. Make Love with Intention

Take pleasure in the sensual part of life. Set aside a time to engage in some activity that creates greater intimacy with someone you love.

6. Give a Blessing to a Child in Your Life

Remember what it was like to feel genuinely blessed by an adult in your life. In a world in which children are so vulnerable, an adult's blessing is transformative and life-affirming.

7. Experience the Beauty of Nature

Take a walk or a bike ride; go for a drive or a hike. Experiencing the awe and wonder and amazement of the natural world creates a reverence for life--and gives the enlivening and ethical sense that we are each an interconnected part of such an infinite cosmos.

8. Engage in a Contemplative Practice

Find a contemplative, reflective, or centering practice that you can do regularly. This can take the form of reading from a wisdom text, listening to music that touches your soul, looking at art that engages the heart, or engaging in more traditional prayer or meditation. Try not to listen to the news.

9. Laugh

Laughter is a signal of transcendence. It reminds us that no matter what is happening in our lives, this too shall pass; it helps us to hold our absolutes humbly and keeps us from taking ourselves too seriously--all qualities that insure we can deal with whatever life throws at us.

10. Express Gratitude

Find five things for which to be grateful over the past week. Consciousness is like tofu. Its taste completely depends on what it is marinated in. When we "marinate" our consciousness in gratitude, we become more grateful people.

Bonus Practice: Take a NapSleep restores the body, refreshes the spirit, and is the place of dreams.

About the author: Rabbi Irwin Kula is the president of CLAL-The National Jewish Center for Learning and Leadership (see www.clal.org) and is the author of "Yearnings: Embracing the Sacred Messiness of Life" (Hyperion, 2006).

Some thoughts on the year ahead by Philip Humbert

2008-01-01T13:01:00.000Z

"In the coming twelve months the sun will move, the earth will tilt, the seasons will change. You cannot control these things. But you can control what time you get up in the morning. You can choose your attitude, your friends, your reading material, your diet, your focus and your goals. You can, to a remarkable degree, create the life you want. Choose well. Use your power." ~ Philip Humbert

Monday Motivation - Tony Robbins video

2008-01-01T12:55:00.000Z

Rather than a quotation for Monday, I'm posting a link to a great video that is relevant to the New Year. Check out: http://www.tonyrobbins.com/12TENETS/index.html?=136092

Happy New Year!

Charles Dickens on Christmas time

2007-12-27T15:50:00.000Z

“I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys." ~ Charles Dickens

Santa and his singing reindeer

2007-12-24T11:05:00.000Z

I've just found a link to Santa and his singing reindeer - very entertaining! Check it out here:

http://www.thecompassgroup.biz/merryxmas.swf

Have a great day!

The White Envelope Story

2007-12-24T11:01:00.000Z

The story that inspired the White Envelope Project

This story was originally published in the December 14, 1982 issue of Woman's Day magazine. It was the first place winner out of thousands of entries in the magazine's "My Most Moving Holiday Tradition" contest in which readers were asked to share their favorite holiday tradition and the story behind it. Woman's Day continues to support this tradition and The White Envelope Project today.

For the Man Who Hated Christmas - by Nancy W. Gavin

It's just a small, white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past ten years or so.

It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas--oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it--overspending... the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma---the gifts given in desperation because you couldn't think of anything else.

Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties and so forth. I reached for something special just for Mike. The inspiration came in an unusual way.

Our son Kevin, who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended; and shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church. These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes. As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler's ears.

It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford. Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn't acknowledge defeat.

Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, "I wish just one of them could have won," he said. "They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them." Mike loved kids - all kids - and he knew them, having coached little league football, baseball and lacrosse. That's when the idea for his present came. That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church. On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years. For each Christmas, I followed the tradition--one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on.

The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents.

As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure. The story doesn't end there.

You see, we lost Mike last year due to dreaded cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning, it was joined by three more.

Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad. The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing to take down the envelope.

Mike's spirit, like the Christmas spirit will always be with us.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
This story is indeed a true story and inspired four siblings from Atlanta, GA to start The White Envelope Project, a nonprofit organization dedicated to promoting this tradition and charitable giving. The White Envelope Project founders are regularly in touch with the family in the article and are thrilled to have their support. Sadly, Nancy Gavin (the author) died less than two years after her husband - also of "the dreaded cancer." Her legacy lives on as the Gavin family and now thousands of others continue to celebrate the "white envelope" tradition each year. For more information about The White Envelope Project or to honor a loved one through a "white envelope" gift this year, please visit their website www.WhiteEnvelopeProject.org.

Christmas quotations

2007-12-22T19:35:00.000Z

"Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts." ~ Janice Maeditere

“Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful." ~ Norman Vincent Peale

“Every gift, though it be small, is in reality great if given with affection.” ~ Pindar

"Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall." ~ Larry Wilde, The Merry Book of Christmas

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." ~ Author unknown, attributed to a 7-year-old named Bobby

Happy Christmas!

Time Management Tips - Part 4

2007-12-04T08:07:00.000Z

This is a simple tip, yet I find it can save time (and I will admit it's one of my pet peeves!).

I'm sure I'm not the only one who receives a ton of email and who often looks in a backlog of saved messages for a particular email - a task that would be a lot faster if the sender ensured that the subject line gave a good indication of the content of the email.

So often I receive emails that have been sent as a reply to one of mine a while ago, so the heading is of no relevance to the content whatsoever, or the heading just says 'hi' when the content is important and requires a reply by a certain date. And emails with no subject title are at risk of being deleted as spam.

Finally, when replying to a message - change the subject heading if relevant; this will make it easier to find in your 'saved' folder if you need it at a later date plus it's easier for the reader to deal with.

That's it for email etiquette for today!

Monday Motivation - 3 December

2007-12-04T08:04:00.000Z

“The secret of happiness is the determination to be happy always, rather than wait for outer circumstances to make one happy." ~ J. Donald Walters

Monday Motivation - 29 October

2007-10-29T09:28:00.000Z

"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." ~ Charles Dickens, 1812-1870, Novelist

Monday Motivation - 8 October

2007-10-08T15:27:00.000+01:00

“Define your future by your dreams and not by your memories, by your hopes and not by your fears.” ~ Joe Tye, Motivational speaker and leadership coach

Monday Motivation - 24 September

2007-09-24T17:18:00.000+01:00

"Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life, and when it comes, hold your head high. Look it squarely in the eye, and say, ‘I will be bigger than you. You cannot defeat me.’" ~ Ann Landers

Reflections on 9/11 - by Mary Allen

2007-09-11T13:04:00.000+01:00

Every day I receive a quotation from Mary Allen, under the title "Your Daily Gem". They are often lovely, insightful quotations and today, I received one that I found especially thought provoking. So I want to share this with you - and to share Mary's reflections on 9/11.

“What you see reflects your thinking. And your thinking but reflects your choice of what you want to see." ~ A Course In Miracles

Mary writes:
"On the day of 9/11/02, I was at Tony Robbin's Life Mastery, a 10 day event in Hawaii. Ironically, it was "Emotional Mastery Day." Tony addressed over 2000 people from 59 different countries that morning, and took us all through a powerful process. Fascinating to see that everyone in the audience had a different emotional experience of the event. People who ran patterns of "anger" in their life, felt very angry. People who ran patterns of "sadness," felt very sad. People who ran patterns of "love" in their life, immediately wanted to contribute. People who ran patterns of "gratitude," were grateful for all those who were spared. People who were focused on "peace," saw this as a turning point for greater world peace. The transformations that took place that day will forever be imprinted in my heart. The hallmark event of 9/11 reflected back what was most alive in each of us. And, so true it is with life."

Mary E. Allen, CPCC, MCC
Your Life Coach
www.lifecoachmary.com

Monday Motivation - 10 September

2007-09-10T13:00:00.000+01:00

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use." ~ Earl Nightingale

Monday Motivation - 3 September

2007-09-04T12:59:00.000+01:00

My Monday Motivation is a little bit late this week - but well worth the wait!

For some inspirational words of wisdom by Zig Ziglar, check out this link (and many thanks to the lovely client who sent this to me):

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=jIpQCkfORgc&mode=related&search

Have a wonderful week!

Time Management Tips - Part 3

2007-09-01T15:06:00.000+01:00

Here are some more ideas on managing interruptions:

· Create a solution focused environment by encouraging people to think about how they want things to be rather than just coming to you with the problem. Once they are clear on the desired result it is much easier and faster to explore what needs to happen for the issue to be resolved.

· Establish fixed times when you can be interrupted but be clear on directing people elsewhere for assistance if appropriate – for example policy queries may be set out in a company procedures manual, or some queries may be better handled by someone else, so refer the person on.

· For people who tend to pop in several times a day with various non urgent queries, have them list them and reduce the number of times they seek your assistance by dealing with several items in one discussion.

· If a scheduled meeting is running over for no good purpose, collect all your papers together, put your pen down and thank them for their time – then offer to walk them to the coffee machine if they still don’t get it!

· Use a different work space to get a particular task or project done, such as an empty conference room, an absent colleague’s vacant office or even the local library.

If you've got some other techniques you have used and found effective, please let me know.

Have a great weekend!

Monday Motivation - 27 August

2007-08-27T14:38:00.000+01:00

“The potential of the average person is like a huge ocean unsailed, a new continent unexplored, a world of possibilities waiting to be released and channeled toward some great good.” ~ Brian Tracy

Time Management Tips - Part 2

2007-08-26T12:02:00.000+01:00

Here are five more tips for managing your time and work, through managing interruptions.

1. When a meeting is scheduled with a colleague, go to their office. It is much easier to leave their room then to get them to leave yours once they are settled.

2. Only have one or two spare chairs in your office, to help discourage people from long visits.

3. When asked if you have a minute to spare, answer that you literally only have one minute, give a brief reason why (people respond well to ‘because’) then ask if that one minute is enough or should you both agree another time to talk. If you agree another time, let them see you note this in your appointment diary.

4. Have a large clock on the wall behind you so that visitors can see that time is moving on.

5. Use verbal clues and body language to encourage someone to leave your office. So if someone barges in and starts talking at you, stand to greet them and remain standing, looking at the clock behind you before you speak to them (not while they are speaking) to indicate you have to keep an eye on the time. Tell them you only have x minutes to talk because you have a deadline to meet.

There will be more tips posted later this week.

Monday Motivation - 20 August

2007-08-21T18:01:00.000+01:00

“Always remember that striving and struggle precede success, even in the dictionary.” ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach

Time Management Tips - Part 1

2007-08-19T11:57:00.000+01:00

Managing time effectively is an issue for many people. There are various aspects involved in dealing with this - planning, prioritising, delegating, saying no, creating systems and managing interruptions.

It has been estimated that some managers get interrupted every six minutes! So if that’s the case for you, try some of the techniques set out below and then review the impact on your working day.

1. Have a ‘do not disturb’ sign that you can put up, or agree with colleagues another way of showing you are not available at certain times unless it is an emergency (and agree in advance with others what this actually includes). Be aware of the need to balance keeping informed with managing interruptions. And once you have agreed a ‘do not disturb’ signal, do not abuse it by always being unavailable or it will increasingly be ignored.

2. If you are interrupted when dealing with a task, take a few moments to write yourself a note about what stage you were at – this will make it easier to recall your thought processes and carry on with the task later.

3. Estimate the time for a task and then increase it to allow for interruptions. Finishing earlier will feel like a bonus! And when planning your week, leave space in your schedule generally so you have time to deal with the unexpected and react effectively and calmly.

4. Rather than always answering your telephone, use your answering machine or voice mail to take a message, or have your secretary/assistant/colleague take messages during certain periods and only bring them to you at agreed upon intervals. Then deal with phone calls in a limited number of sessions.

5. Turn off the ‘you have mail’ alert on your PC and only look at your email at certain times during the day – and limit this to a few times unless absolutely necessary.

I will be giving more tips for managing your time, in part 2.

Have a great week!

Monday Motivation - 13 August

2007-08-13T09:01:00.000+01:00

“Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby.” ~ Ruth E. Renkel

On with the dance!

2007-08-06T10:49:00.000+01:00

Mark Twain said: “On with the dance, let joy be unconfined is my motto, whether there’s any dance to dance or any joy to unconfine."

I often use music, and a dance around my lounge, to raise my energy and cheer myself up. And it's a technique I share when coaching my clients; several now do likewise, as music and dance really can lift our mood. One client sings along to Abba in the car so she no longer minds about the traffic jams, another has a quick 10 minute bop to her favourite music in between meetings to help her de-stress and relax.

Yesterday I found some links to YouTube videos with great music, plus they made me smile, so I am sharing them with you today to spread a little joy! Check these out:

There's the evolution of dance at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg

A wedding party dancing to Thriller http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPmYbP0F4Zw

And finally Fatboy Slim's Weapon of Choice at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WW8flwpH-Q

On with the dance!

Monday Motivation - 6 August

2007-08-06T10:46:00.000+01:00

“When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you until it seems that you cannot hold on for a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” ~ Harriet Beecher Stowe

Monday Motivation - 30 July

2007-07-30T10:28:00.000+01:00

“No pressure, no diamonds.” ~ Mary Case

Monday Motivation - 23 July

2007-07-23T09:41:00.000+01:00

"Things don't go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be." ~ Charles "Tremendous" Jones, Speaker and Author